The Overcorrected Diva: Why We Silence Ourselves and How to Take Our Power Back

Have you ever noticed how easily “you’re too much” can turn into “you’re not enough”?

Somewhere between wanting to be loved, accepted, or simply not a hassle, many of us have overcorrected. We’ve dimmed our light, softened our edges, and learned to apologise for existing with needs. That’s what I call the Overcorrected Diva — the woman who was born to take up space but learned to stay small.

The Cost of Being “Easygoing”

We often get praised for being chill, flexible, and low-maintenance. “She’s so easy to work with.” “She never complains.” “She’s just happy to go with the flow.” But here’s the thing; only dead fish go with the flow.

When we internalise that praise, it teaches us that being agreeable equals being loved. The moment we speak up, ask for help, or set a boundary, it feels like we’re breaking an unspoken rule. So we say “it’s fine” when it’s not. We explain our needs like they need defending. We justify our rest like we’re on trial for laziness.

Over time, this quiet compliance leads to emotional burnout. We forget what we even like. We stop trusting our own voice. And eventually, when we do speak up, we’re called “difficult” — not because we are, but because people got used to us disappearing.

Redefining “High Maintenance”

The term high maintenance has been weaponised against women for far too long. You wear makeup; you’re high maintenance. You don’t; you’ve “let yourself go.” No matter what you do, there’s a narrative ready to make you feel wrong.

So let’s rewrite that. Maintenance is care. Your car needs servicing. Your house needs cleaning. You need rest, connection, space, and joy.

That’s not high maintenance — that’s being human.

Why Can Everyone Else Have Needs But You?

Think about it: when your partner says they need a night out, or your child asks for a playdate, you say yes because you know it’s good for them. But when it’s your turn — to read, walk, rest, or do something that’s purely for you — suddenly it feels selfish.

Why? Because somewhere along the way, we learned that our needs are optional extras, not essentials. That they must be justified or earned. But they don’t.

You don’t need to prove your worth before you rest. You don’t need to explain why you crave quiet or space or pleasure. You just need to start honouring what you already know: you can’t pour from an empty cup.

What If Your Self-Care Looks Different?

Your version of self-care might not be yoga or green smoothies — maybe it’s sitting in your car for ten quiet minutes, or staring at the wall in silence because your nervous system is overstimulated. That counts.

We don’t all recharge the same way, and that’s okay. Forget what your needs look like to someone else. Be brave enough to meet them as they are.

Taking Back the Diva Energy

It’s time to stop apologising for wanting to feel good, supported, and seen. Start asking yourself:

• Where have I softened my truth so others feel comfortable?

• What have I been avoiding saying out loud?

• What needs am I pretending don’t exist?

Because being a “diva” isn’t about being demanding — it’s about being authentic. It’s about honouring your energy, your joy, and your boundaries, even when others don’t understand them.

Your Invitation

If this resonates, it’s time to stop overcorrecting. Take up space. Ask for what you need. Let the people who love you show up for you too.

You’ve earned rest, softness, fun, and fullness — not by doing more, but by finally allowing yourself to be whole.

🎧 Listen to the full episode: The Overcorrected Diva on The Walking Session Podcast

💭 Want to dig deeper? Download the free journaling prompts for this episode inside the Walking Session Crew — your space to reflect, reset, and reconnect with yourself.